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Chess Jokes for Kids

This collection of chess jokes for kids, parents, teachers, and chess players is great any time of day or knight!

You’ll find jokes about kings, queens, castles, bishops, knights and pawns.

These jokes about chess are great for everyone, including those with just a basic understanding of the game. Plus they’re clean chess jokes that are safe for all ages.

Treat your aspiring chess masters to some funny chess jokes before you sit down for a game.

Chess Jokes for Kids

Q: What did the chess player say to the waitress?
A: Check, please.

Q: What did the judge do to the guilty chess player?
A: He threw the rook at him.

Q: Why was the chess piece so lonely?
A: It was an isolated pawn. (Isolated pawns do not have a pawn of the same color next to them)

Q: Why do chess pieces look so uninterested?
A: They’re part of a bored game.

A dog was playing chess with a man in the park. As the dog put the man’s king into checkmate, an onlooker said how amazing the dog was. “He’s not that amazing,” said the man. “I’m ahead four games to one!”

Q: How did the chess player make money during the match?
A: From a Discovered Check he found on the board.

Q: Why did the chess player bring a baseball bat to his game.
A: Just in case he needed a Squeeze play.

Q: Why did it take so long for the chess master to finish his dinner?
A: The table had a checkered tablecloth and it took forever to pass him the salt shaker.

Q: What looks like half a pawn?
A: The other half?

Q: Where did the chess player sleep?
A: In a KING size bed.

Q: Why did the board game fall off the breakfast bar?
A: Counter-attack

Q: Why couldn’t the chess player move his rook?
A: He couldn’t get over the moat.

Q. Which chess piece is the most powerful?
A. The Knight, It goes over the top.

Q: How did the king lose his home?
A: One of the horses took his castle.

Q: Why wouldn’t the cowboy play chess?
A: He was afraid he might lose his horse.

Q: Why did the chess player bring pencils and a sketch pad to the game?
A: In case there was a draw.

Q: Why did the chess master marry a Slovakian woman?
A: He wanted a Czechmate.

Q: How was winning the chess game so HARD?
A: It was a STALE-mate.

Q: Why did the lights go out during the chess tournament?
A: Too many Pawn Storms (A situation arising from opposite-side castling).

Q: What the most costly move in chess?
A: The Check.

Q: What’s the easiest way to move your castle?
A: Re-moat control.

Q: How did Darth Vader keep track of his chess game?
A: Using For-SYTH notation (it’s a method for recording positions)

Q: Where can you learn how to play chess?
A: Knight school.

Q: Which knight always gave up at chess?
A: Sir Render.

Q: What happened to the pawn after he beat the castle?
A: He got promoted.

Q: Why shouldn’t you use old bread as a chess piece?
A: Because it would be a stale mate.

Q: Where do the most powerful chess players live?
A: Queens (it’s in NY).

Q: What did the woman call her husband when they played chess together?
A: Her check mate.

Q: Why did the boy put his knight on top of the rook?
A: He was playing fort-knight.

Q: How didn’t the chess master near the buffet?
A: He was known for over-using his Royal Fork (knight simultaneously attacks the opponent’s king, queen and rook).

Q: When do chess players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: Where does a chess player trade his pieces?
A: At a pawn shop.

Q: What do you give crazy chess playing as a snack?
A: Chessnuts.

Q: Why is it so easy to learn how to move chess pieces?
A: It’s all right there in black and white.

Q: Why didn’t the chess player offer a draw?
A: Because he wasn’t a good artist.

Q: What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter?
A: Check, mate!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bishop.
Bishop who?
Bishop who just put you in check!

Q: Why did the chess player offer to draw?
A: Because he was a good artist.

Q: Why did the hockey player go to the chess tournament?
A: So he could check someone.

Q: Why did the chess master go to jail?
A: Too many bad checks.

Q: What type of board game do football players play?
A: Blitz Chess

Q: Why was the chess piece in so much trouble?
A: It was a Bad Bishop (a Bad Bishop is when it is blocked long-term by pawns)

Q: Why was the chess board so wet?
A: The queen has reigned for years.

Q: Why did the chess game seem so familiar?
A: It was a match.

Q: Why did the chess piece keep bumping into the queen?
A: It was a Backward Pawn.

Q: Why did the senior citizens have to dance half way through their match?
A: Because of the Fifty-move rule

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Queen.
Queen who?
Queen your room. It’s a mess!

Q: Why did the pirates raid the tournament?
A: The were looking for a treasure chess.

The Weirdest Chess World Championship

Chess is above all a mind game, and players sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to psych out their opponents. But for sheer insanity, the World Championship showdown between Viktor Korchnoi (pictured left) and Anatoly Karpov (pictured right) takes the cake.

The two grand masters were intense rivals. Karpov was a member of the Communist Party and a model of the “Soviet New Man.” Like every chess player who brought honors to the Soviet state, Karpov was rewarded with a Mercedes, a chauffeur, a Moscow apartment, and a country dacha. Korchnoi, on the other hand, was a rebel who defected to the Netherlands in 1976 and constantly criticized the Soviet system. To the Soviets, the Jewish Korchnoi was a diseased and immoral character.

The 1972 title match between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky proved that the Cold War could be fought as intensely on a chessboard as on an actual battlefield. In 1978, Fischer had forfeited his title, and the free world was now represented by Korchnoi. His showdown with Karpov, the ice-cold calculator from behind the Iron Curtain, took place in Baguio, Philippines.

For their first game, Korchnoi wore mirrored sunglasses to hide his eyes from Karpov’s stare, which had bothered him in a previous match. Karpov complained that the mirrors reflected the light into his eyes. Karpov also requested that Korchnoi’s chair be examined for “prohibited devices” (presumably the mind-zapping kind) and distracted his opponent by swiveling in his own chair during games.

Korchnoi’s camp then objected to the yogurt delivered to Karpov during games, suggesting that the color might be some sort of coded message. Perhaps a strawberry yogurt signified one move and raspberry another. Korchnoi was also bothered by a member of the Soviet entourage named Vladimir Zukhar, a parapsychologist who would sit in the front row and stare malevolently at him. Korchnoi suspected that Zukhar was hypnotizing him and interfering with his brain waves. Thanks to the “psychic,” Korchnoi was a nervous wreck by the seventh game.

Random Fact: At Chess Plus Summer Camp we teach the love of chess!

To counteract Zukhar, Korchnoi brought in Dada and Didi, two members of an Indian sect called Ananda Marga. Zukhar had the two mystics teach him yoga and transcendental meditation. It was now the Soviet delegation’s turn to be unsettled when Dada and Didi hovered around them during the games.

Revived, Korchnoi came back from being three games behind to leveling the score at five to five. Whoever won the next game would become the champion. There was an unsubstantiated claim that the KGB was ready to poison Korchnoi. If true, his life was probably spared when he lost the tiebreaker. After failing to beat Karpov in their grudge match, Korchnoi said he would bring along the CIA next time around. Moscow simply laughed him off.

Article From – listverse.com

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Crazy Stuff Chess Masters do to win!

Chess masters are known to employ strange methods to win their games. Ruy Lopez, the famous 16th-century Spanish priest and chess player, once advised, “Sit your opponent with the sun in his eyes.” Another player named Lucena once recommended, “Try to play after your opponent has eaten or drunk freely.”

In the 19th century, Harry Nelson Pillsbury attributed his clear thinking to puffing on a cigar during his games. On the other hand, Szymon Winawer said he deliberately smoked bad cigars so the odor would mess with his opponent’s concentration. And at the 1935 World Championship, the superstitious Alexander Alekhine would place his Siamese cat on the chessboard before a game as a good luck charm. Alekhine was also allegedly hoping for an allergic reaction from his opponent. When he was forbidden to play with the cat on his lap, Alekhine turned to wearing a sweater with a picture of his pet on it.

So we are left wondering what Rosendo Balinas was trying to pull off at the 1979 Lone Pine tournament. A Filipino grand master, Balinas was playing against Jeremy Silman. The game started off quietly enough, but 10 turns later, things got a little bit crazy. According to Silman’s eyewitness account:

At this point, Balinas placed a thermos filled with hot tea on the table. Then he put a big cup of honey next to it. I expected him to take a bit of honey and mix it in with the tea, but instead he shocked me! He took the tea, poured it into the honey (which turned into a thick goo), and then drank every bit of it. Appalled, I noticed that his eyes immediately glazed over as the sugar hit his brain. Then, smiling, he continued the game.

But the Filipino was in a stupor after that incomprehensible act of self-sabotage. He lasted only another 12 moves. Silman was so sorry for him that he took no pleasure in his easy win.

Article From listverse.com

Game On Fitness Partnership – Agility and Dance

Fantastic News..

 

Positive Chess has partnered with Game on Fitness.   Our Active Party Chess Plus Summer Camp will have the  amazing fitness  coach Amy Smith leading our afternoon Session with the Agility and Dance.   Her experience and expertise are an amazing addition to our summer program.  We are very excited to be working with Amy.    Check out Game On Fitness’s website and facebook page for more details on the wonderful services they offer.

 

 

Chess Plus Active Party Summer Camp just got it’s GameOn!

 

 

 

Ideas to help your child discover the joy of chess

Ideas to help your child discover the joy of chess

We all know that teaching chess to little kids can be very tricky. People who tried teaching their six or seven year olds will know how the experience can either be a cherishable memory or a slow torture you somehow want to survive, especially with a group of naughty kids. The way the pendulum swings depends on how much you understand them and what your approach is towards teaching. In this article, Arun J, who is a chess coach based in Pondicherry, will share with us some ideas which we can use to help our children to discover the joy of chess.

Make the class fun and memorable!

Why do we get burnt badly in a class full of little children, especially with children hungry for chess but naughty enough to play catch with pawns and pieces? The problem begins with the values upon which your teaching approach is based. Many teachers or parents view their children as empty vessels, ignorant creatures waiting for their brain buckets to be filled by the parents’ wisdom and knowledge. But the truth is that children are more elastic in respect to learning, their minds fertile to learning new and exciting things.

The desire to fill these buckets, when they don’t assimilate, leads to irritation, enough to set your whiskers on fire. But if you consider them as beautiful young minds waiting to absorb the seeds and sparks of exciting new things to learn and grow as they evolve, then the class becomes fun and memorable.

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Patience

Being a chess parent (or a chess teacher of little kids) is like being a gardener for a rose bed, one that shines with different colours of roses when they start blooming. The problem is that we will have to nurture it with patience, time and tolerance.

IDEA:

Shorter classes, properly structured with different activities are the best. Younger kids find it difficult to keep their concentration during long classes. So make sure you shorten your class while they are still happily engaged.

Fast-food approach towards learning

Don’t push. Many success-driven parents fail to see this. They push, they want their child to become the next super GM, stress them out and make them hate the game forever – not because of the game but because of how it was presented.

The fun of learning and the joy of discovering

It is fun that motivates children more than anything. The fun of discovering something new and exciting. The game should not be presented like a dictionary waiting to be memorized, but as a colouring book that should be lived and experienced.

IDEA: Games and gamification. Kids love games. Quiz up the class. Give points for engagement, correct answers and negative points for negative behavior (the point system has to be explained clearly beforehand).

IDEA: Activity-based classes. Turn passive lecture-type classes into different activities. One example is to let your students make their own chess set. The pieces can be made by using recyclable household items (example: bottle caps, pen caps, clay, nuts/bolts, but make sure they are big enough. Keep a close eye on them so they don’t swallow these. Use caution with little ones.) and the chess board can be drawn on an A3 sheet and coloured by them. Let your imagination run wild and you can come up with different activities (or google them).

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Inculcating inquisitiveness and interest

Pushing students with facts and difficult concepts will only make them bored. Eventually, they will lose their interest. What matters more is constantly instilling a sense of awe, feeding their curiosity about chess. Encourage the habit of asking questions.

IDEA: Chess and Math. Chess can be used as a platform through which kids can hone their logic and even Math skills. Each piece has a point attached to it. So, three pawns equal three points while a queen and two bishops equal fifteen. Using this relatedness, Chess-Math games can be invented and used as exercises during a class. But remember – younger kids might find it difficult when you need more than two hands to solve a Chess-Math puzzle.

IDEA: And finally: kids love challenges! Many logical puzzles like the famous eight-queens puzzle or exercises like Pawn Mowers can be a fun and challenging exercise for kids.

Storytelling and correlative explanation of concepts

Combine words with images and stories. Combine music and dance with ideas. Combine abstract concepts with real things that children can understand and weave the thread of a story around it. This helps form a concrete basic understanding of the fundamental concepts and ideas in chess.

This unforgettable chess adventure is designed to advance young chess player’s skills, move by move. Discover mini-games, brain-twisters and more at every attraction. Pick up chess tips and skills as you ride in bumper cars and the Ferris wheel. Polish up your chess strategy and tactics, opening, middle game and endgame and use what you’ve learned to win. You’ll have lots of fun while you learn more about the serious business of playing – and winning – chess!

For example, the knight is the most difficult piece for kids to understand because of the difficult logic behind the moves. It really helps to nail down the concept when you ask how many kids have visited a zoo, show them pictures, or even make a trip to a zoo if that helps. You can continue to tell stories about how horses were used in early days and about knights in medieval times. This helps them relate the piece with images and stories.

IDEA: Chess History. Chess has evolved for over two thousand years to what it is today. It has a rich history, dotted with numerous exciting stories waiting to be told. You can start with how the chess board and the pieces evolved. Show them pictures of old chess sets from different times.

 

Efficiency vs Effectiveness of a Class

Learning doesn’t stop with fun. The purpose of a class is to help children discover how much fun chess is, develop their curiosity for the game and continue to develop their understanding of game concepts. A parent or teacher has to look at the big picture. It’s not enough for kids to leave a class grinning and jumping. That is only one aspect of evaluating success – efficiency. The other is effectiveness – being able to walk in the right direction with all the classes – the proper learning journey for the kids to develop gradually in chess. For this to happen, it is very helpful to follow a curriculum. There are both free and premium curricula on the internet, all a Google search away. The other way to do it is to sit, think and plan your classes in advance.

by J Arun from ChessBase